dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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