On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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