my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
