saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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