We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
