he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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