whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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