idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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