I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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