Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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