Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
