I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
