I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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