the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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