This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
