Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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