He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
