I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
