got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
