sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
