I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
