# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
...so i touched it.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
