Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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