She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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