you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
