i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
