I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
