I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
