tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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