so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I had to cum in my sink.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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