Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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