i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
