just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
