He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
