if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
