my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
