i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
