Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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