Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
