Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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