im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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