Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
