We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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