I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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