I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Two words: blizzard sex
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
