last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
