Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
