Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
