so explain again why im purple
no
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
