the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
