Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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