thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
