i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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