when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
