In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Alive.
So much puke
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
