remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
